


if i hated you

by electricvallie



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Breaking Up & Making Up, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, Sort of Happy, Weddings, Zukka Week 2021, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-15
Updated: 2021-03-15
Packaged: 2021-03-23 03:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30049284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/electricvallie/pseuds/electricvallie
Summary: It’s not every day that your ex-boyfriend calls and asks you to fake date him.For Sokka, it’s a Thursday in the middle of a winter storm as he’s driving home from work.
Relationships: Mai/Ty Lee (Avatar), Minor or Background Relationship(s), Sokka/Zuko (Avatar)
Comments: 19
Kudos: 99





	if i hated you

It’s not every day that your ex-boyfriend calls and asks you to fake date him. 

For Sokka, it’s a Thursday in the middle of a winter storm as he’s driving home from work. 

He's happily singing along to the radio as he carefully scoots down the snowy country road, heading back into the city towards his apartment. 

Sokka loves his job, truly. He loves engineering and working with Teo’s dad (The Mechanist, as Sokka’s been told to call him) at Northern Air, but the commute is long. In the evenings, like now, this isn’t normally too bad. It’s the mornings that really suck. And, of course, the snowstorms.

In the middle of his trying to merge onto the interstate, as he’s squinting at the other cars on the road through the snowflakes pelting his window at a speed the wipers can’t compete with, the call comes through.

Sokka nearly swerves off the road when he sees the image pop up on his middle console.

Perhaps intentionally, he never changed Zuko’s contact photo after they broke up. 

Katara would personally murder him if she knew he even still had Zuko’s number saved, but Sokka figures she’d deserve to after having to be the one to comfort him post-dumping. 

It’s an objective good picture of the two of them: they’re at Katara and Aang’s engagement party, all dolled up in fancy suits and absolutely beaming at each other. The look on Zuko’s face is soft and his own is lit up with pure joy. 

It feels strangely invasive to look at it, Sokka thinks. It’s practically another lifetime. He snaps out of his reverie and attempts to refocus on the road.

Then, in a split second, after the phone rings for the fourth time and before he can process what he’s doing, Sokka answers it. It’s most certainly against his better judgement, but it’s too late by time he realizes this, because the connection goes through.

A moment passes where neither of them speak. Sokka certainly isn’t going to: Zuko called him. Besides, the roads require his attention if he wants to make it home in one piece. 

“Sokka?” Sokka’s hand slips on the steering wheel and he promptly slides on the rumble strips. 

Quickly adjusting so he’s back on the road, Sokka attempts to collect himself.    
  
“Uh, yeah,” He hopes his voice doesn’t sound as nervous as he feels. He resists the urge to run a hand through his hair like he would if Zuko was really there.

“I didn’t think you’d pick up,” He’s still trying to get over hearing the sound of Zuko’s voice after actively trying to forget it for so long, but Sokka’s not so disoriented that the spark of anger he feels towards Zuko doesn’t flare up at this comment.

“Yeah, well, I did” Sokka tries to laugh but it sounds so forced that he physically cringes “are you okay?”   
  
“What?” Zuko sounds surprised “yeah, I’m fine, that’s not why I’m calling.” Sokka stiffens at the reminder of all the times that was why he called. Those are memories he’d prefer not to relive.

“Why are you calling, then?” His voice is much more stable now, eyes fixed firmly on the road as he changes lanes. 

“It’s, uh, kind of a weird question.” Sokka laughs dryly. He can practically picture the awkward pacing that Zuko is definitely doing right now. 

“Alright,” his voice is so chipped that it doesn’t sound like himself “let’s hear it then.”

“Remember Mai and Ty Lee?”

“Of course I remember Mai and Ty Lee!” Sokka’s getting dangerously agitated “they were my friends too.” He grumbles this second part. Sure, he’s probably being too hostile. But considering the way things ended, Zuko’s lucky he’s not getting chewed out right now. Not to mention what Katara would do if she was around. 

“Yeah, they were. That’s, uh, kind of the problem.” Zuko’s making absolutely no sense right now and Sokka doesn’t trust himself to respond to this. He takes a moment and tries to breathe. He makes a left turn onto the street adjacent to him.

“Zuko,” Sokka finally says, his voice low, “just tell me what’s going on.”

“Yeah, yeah of course, I don’t want to waste your time,” Zuko is clearly nervous (Sokka’s only heard him sound more nervous twice, and once was during their breakup). “Well, we were invited to their wedding, and I RSVP'd for both of us and...well, they think we’re still together.”   
  


For about the third time in the span of the fifteen minute phone call, Sokka nearly crashes his car. “Why would they think that?” 

“Because I, um, forgot to tell them we broke up.” It’s a good thing that Zuko drops this news just as Sokka pulls into his driveway and puts the car in park, because he starts seeing red.

“You  _ forgot _ ?” There are so many things Sokka wants to scream at him. Ask him how he could conveniently forget to tell everyone in his life about the breakup he started, when Sokka’s been dealing with it for the past six month. 

  
“Look, I know I fucked up okay, I just didn’t know how to tell them and now I can’t because I don’t want Mai to be worrying about me on her big day, and you know she will, that’s just how she is,” Zuko is properly rambling now. Sokka’s almost scared to hear what he’s going to say next, mostly because he can already guess. 

“Okay, so you’re calling me about this because…” Zuko takes an audible breath.

“I wanted to see if you’d still go with me,” he pauses before adding “for Mai and Ty Lee.”

Sokka decides, in that very moment, that he hates Zuko. He hates Zuko for guilt tripping him and for being so unforgettable that he knew he was going to say yes before he was even asked the question. He hates Zuko’s stupid voice and his stupidly beautiful face and, mostly, he hates Zuko for breaking up with him, and for letting Sokka fall in love with him in the first place.

“Fine,” Sokka says, “I don’t want to ruin Mai and Ty Lee’s wedding.” He wonders if Zuko is surprised by his response or if he knew what Sokka’s answer would be before he called. Sokka isn’t sure why he feels so manipulated and hurt.

“Really?” Zuko’s shock sounds genuine, but Sokka isn’t convinced.

“Don’t act so surprised,” he says. 

“I’m not surprised. I’m just…” Zuko trails off “You’re a good person, Sokka.”   
  


Sokka’s going to die, right then and there. Instead, he lets the bitterness that’s welled up in his heart seep into his voice.

“Yeah well, I’m glad you decided to remember  _ that _ ,” he practically spits out. He takes another deep breath. And another. He lets a moment pass. “Just text me the plan, okay?” By now, Sokka is certain that he sounds defeated, but he doesn’t give Zuko a chance to comment on it. 

With the swift press of a button, Sokka ends the call without so much as saying goodbye.

Katara is sitting on the couch, watching a nature documentary about Antarctica, when he stomps into the apartment. She raises an amused eyebrow at him. 

“Bad day at work?” She’s teasing him but there’s an underlying tone of sympathy in her voice. Sokka glances around: Aang must be at work, since he’s nowhere to be found.

He throws his bag on the ground dramatically. “Guess who called me on the way home?” Katara shrugs: she clearly still thinks he’s joking. 

“The President?” Sokka glares at her.

“No, much worse than that. It was Zuko.” Katara is instantly serious, sitting up straight on the couch as Sokka walks over and slumps down next to her. 

“What?” It only takes a moment for Katara to get angry on his behalf. “How dare he! What did he want?”

“Apparently he ‘forgot’ to tell Mai and Ty Lee that we broke up so now I’m stuck being his date to their wedding so it doesn’t get ruined for them.”

“That asshole! He can’t have it both ways! He doesn’t get to break up with you and then pretend like he’s still dating you when it’s convenient for him!” 

“I know, I know.” Katara looks at him sympathetically, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“You don’t have to do it, Sokka, you don’t owe him anything,” Sokka sighs.

“It wouldn’t be fair to Mai and Ty Lee if they spent their wedding worrying about Zuko. I was good friends with them, at one point anyways,” he feels like crying, but doesn’t want Katara to see him “I can’t do that to them.”

“It’s still not fair,” Katara is clearly holding back, which Sokka appreciates. 

“None of this is fair, Katara,” Sokka gives her a sad smile “I’m going to go to sleep, I want nothing more than for this day to be over.” 

To her credit, Katara doesn’t push him. She just gives him a hug and, with it, the wordless reassurance that he can come to her if he needs it. Behind all the anger and hurt, Sokka feels a surge of love for his baby sister. 

Lying in his bed, Sokka realizes that he was lying to himself earlier. Because, if he really thinks about it, he doesn’t hate Zuko. No matter how much he tries or how much easier things would be if he did, Sokka can’t bring himself to actually hate him. 

It’s a weird feeling, the leftover love that he’s been trying so hard to get rid of will probably never go away. This is a thought he has bitterly, a sour lemon in his brain cavity that’s ruining it for anyone else. But he doesn’t want anyone else. 

He tries, right then and there, to hate Zuko. He wills every fibre of his being to do it. But he can’t.

Sokka feels like screaming. Or crying. Or both. Mostly, though, he feels like calling Zuko back and asking him what to do and telling him all of this and hoping that the other boy feels the thing.

That’s a truly laughable thought. Because it wasn’t mutual or on good terms or anything like that. Sokka got dumped and he still hasn’t accepted it six months later.

Although, he supposes, it’s reasonable to feel blindsided by a breakup when you date someone for four years. 

Slightly less reasonable is his insistence on not moving on, but as Sokka always tells Katara, that’s part of his process. Who knows? Maybe this whole thing will help him realize that Zuko isn’t as great as he remembers. Or that he is as cruel as he was when they broke up. Maybe both versions of Zuko exist. Though, Sokka reminds himself, neither version of Zuko loves him anymore. He wonders if any part of him ever did.

The last thing Sokka wants is to tarnish the few good memories that have yet to be soiled, but it very well might be impossible. Maybe they should be ruined. Maybe then he’ll be able to let go of them, and Zuko. 

He wishes he hated Zuko. That would make it easier to pretend to love him at one wedding for the sake of their friends. Because now, because he doesn’t hate him, Sokka isn’t going to be pretending. And it’s so much worse than the alternative, of that Sokka’s sure.

The universe must think this is fucking hilarious, because it’s at that exact moment that his phone pings with a message. Sokka doesn’t have to look to know who it’s from. 

It’s a picture of the wedding invite, addressed to the pair of them—not Zuko and a plus-one. Sokka tries not to notice how it was sent to their shared apartment, where Zuko must still leave, or at least, pay rent.

He doesn’t know what to do with this information. He replies to the message with a simple ‘thanks.’ There isn’t much else to say. Or rather, there’s too much to say and Sokka has to fight to not let it all spill out of him in heaps. Another text comes in.

_ (April 17th, 9:08 P.M.) _

**Zuko:** should we meet up beforehand to work out the details?

**Sokka** : i think we’d better not.

**Zuko:** okay

**Zuko:** do you have a suit?

**Sokka:** yes.

**Zuko:** we should arrive together

**Sokka:** probably, yeah

**Zuko:** i can pick you up?

**Sokka:** no, i’d rather you didn’t. i’ll come to you

**Zuko:** alright

**Zuko:** address is the same.

That confirms Sokka’s thought, which only makes him feel worse. Probably the last thing in the entire world that he wants (other than  _ fake dating Zuko _ ) is to go to the apartment they used to share together. But, as this entire situation is making evident, Sokka can’t always get what he wants.

  
Taking a hot shower helps him decompress, but his relaxation is almost instantly ruined by one look at his phone.

_ (April 17th, 9:08 P.M.) _

**Zuko:** i’m sorry

Sokka feels ready to crumble. He locks his phone and turns it over. 

There’s no way he’s going to get any sleep.

His dreams are haunted with images of Zuko and flurries of snow.

* * *

About a week later, Sokka finds himself at the tux store with Toph and Suki. 

It’s arguable too late to rent a tux—the wedding is one week. But with Toph and Suki, he’d be surprised if things didn’t work out. Those two have a way of getting shit done that Sokka can only aspire to.

Sokka hadn’t been lying when he told Zuko that he had a suit. He has plenty of suits. But upon hearing the entire story, recounted over a bottle or two of vodka and copious amounts of French fries from Jet’s Diner, Suki had decided that going all-out and getting a tux was the only way to go.

_ (“First of all, you know Zuko’s going to be wearing one and there’s no way I’m letting you be less fancy than him. Second, everyone looks hotter in a tux. And you’re already hot, so it’s going to be perfect!” Suki was confident when she said this, 3am and half-drunk. Sokka had thought in that moment that she was the best person he’d ever met. That thought was not uncommon.) _

Toph, on the other hand, was insisting on being Sokka’s moral support. Currently, she was seated on a bench adjacent to the changing room, calling out at the wrong time, undoubtedly to make Sokka laugh and not actually a result of her own mistake.

This is his fifth suit so far, but the second Sokka finishes adjusting the various components, he knows it’s the one. 

Suki definitely agrees, if the audible gasp when he exits the changing room is anything to go by. He walks over by Toph so she can feel the material—it’s velvety and soft to touch. 

“Alright Snoozles, this one must be good since Suki didn’t groan so let me hear it,” she gestures to him. 

And so he does his best to describe the suit, which is a brilliant deep blue velvet that complements his eyes and makes his skin glow. What he doesn’t tell Toph and Suki is that part of the reason he likes it is that it’s the opposite of what him and Zuko had talked about wearing to Aang and Katara’s wedding, back when it was still happening in the near future and not indefinitely postponed until “after Katara graduated” (and by that, they meant until after Sokka got his shit together). 

Sokka tries not to think about how derailed everyone’s lives were by his and Zuko’s breakup. It will only make him angrier at Zuko, and that’s not something he can afford to be when he’s going to have to pretend to be blissfully in love with the other man in approximately a week.

“Let’s get this one,” he tells Toph and Suki, both of whom look pleased in their own distinctive way. Sokka doesn’t want to spend any more time thinking about this wedding.

This is a feat he accomplishes relatively well. Perhaps even to a fault.

It’s not until the next Saturday, when he’s driving over to their apartment— _ Zuko’s _ apartment, that the implications of what’s about to happen come back to hit Sokka once more.

The neighborhoods on this route are familiar to him in the way your hometown is when you go back to visit after moving away. He recognizes the house with the red door that they always used to walk past and the coffee shop on the corner where Sokka used to get his lattes before work on Fridays and it’s—it’s too much.

He pulls the car over for a moment to breathe. So much for being over it, Sokka thinks wryly. If one literal trip down memory lane causes this much upheaval, there’s no way he’s made very much progress.

Progress doesn’t seem to be in the equation when your current destination is your old apartment and you’re planning to pretend to date the person who quite literally shattered your life, Sokka’s brain tells him meanly. 

_ The cold air violently hits Sokka in the face as he walks from his parking space to the apartment building, clutching his coat tighter around him intensely.  _

_ It’s been a relatively normal day so far, but that doesn’t stop the world from immediately falling apart in the following moments. At the time, of course, Sokka hadn’t known this. He’d only been paying attention to the bitter chill nipping at his face and the warm feeling he always got in his chest at the anticipation of seeing his boyfriend. _

_ When Sokka finally fumbles the key into the lock and careens into the apartment, he can immediately tell that something is up.  _

_ For one, the lights in the living room are off. Actually, all of the lights are off. This is even more strange, because it would normally _

_ “I can’t do this anymore,” Zuko’s voice is barely a whisper. Sokka frowns. _

_ “Sit in the dark? I don’t blame you, it's pretty depressing,” Sokka goes over to turn on the light and instantly regrets it. As soon as the room is illuminated he can see Zuko’s face.  _

_ The pit of his stomach drops out.  _

_ “So clearly that’s not what you meant,” Sokka laughs nervously. “Is it something at work? Or should I call Dr. Tanho?” _

_ Zuko shakes his head. “No,” he says in a tone that will fossilize itself in Sokka’s brain “I can’t do  _ us  _ anymore.” _

_ The look on Zuko’s face as he says it will also get immortalized in the repressed memories that Sokka squares away after this. It makes Sokka’s heart retch. _

When he sees Zuko’s face now, as he opens the door to what was formerly their apartment, all Sokka feels is a twinge of anger and annoyance. 

“You’re here,” Zuko says blankly. Sokka squints at him.

“Clearly,” he gestures to the doorway. “Are you going to let me in?”

He’s well aware that he’s being a bit of an asshole, but unlike normally, Sokka doesn’t care much. Zuko can handle him being a bit of a prick considering everything that’s gone down between the two of them.

To his credit, Zuko acquiesces and immediately lets Sokka into the strange-slash-familiar place.

Zuko, of course, has not redecorated the place, or even bothered to replace the items Sokka took when he left. It quite literally looks like a ghost town: half-lived in, with an air of loss.

That’s quite fitting, Sokka supposes. Although he doubts Zuko spends much time at the apartment judging from the layer of dust coating the chair where Sokka lays his suit jacket. 

“Er—would you like something to drink?” Zuko’s voice is painfully awkward. Sokka considers turning around and leaving right then and there. Instead he just shakes his head no.

For a couple moments, nothing happens. They stand there, in awkward limbo, in between what they were and what they are now.

A chime from Zuko’s phone snaps them both out of it, and Sokka mentally prepares himself for the event to come as Zuko checks the message.

“Our ride is here,” Zuko says timidly. Sokka has never been so grateful for a limo. He’s not sure how much more time in this apartment he could handle.

Once they’ve both settled into the limo (Zuko got the most decked out model because of course he did), the awkward silence returns with full force. After about five minutes, Sokka can’t take it anymore.

“So, uh, how’s work?” Zuko raises an eyebrow.

“You want to know about my work?” Sokka groans internally.

“I  _ want _ to not sit in painful silence for thirty minutes and work is a much safer topic than the fact that you—whatever, forget I asked.” Somehow, Zuko looks guiltier than he did before, which is saying a lot considering how guilty he looked when Sokka first arrived.

“Work is alright,” Zuko finally says. “I’m still travelling a lot, but it keeps me busy.” Sokka nods stiffly in acknowledgement. 

He doesn’t comment on the very obvious avoidance tactic his fake-date is engaging in. He’s nice like that. 

“How is everyone?” Zuko’s voice is tentative.

“They’re all good.” Sokka says, a wistful smile creeping onto his face. He truly is insurmountably grateful for his friends. 

Zuko notices this expression and wears a wistful one of his own, although it’s far more nostalgic than Sokka’s. 

“I’m glad,” is what Zuko says, although Sokka would bet his life savings that the other boy wants to say something more, or ask something more.

But he doesn’t. They don’t speak for the rest of the ride, only the dulcet jazz tunes from the limo speakers filling the growing space between them.

The moment they arrive at the wedding, Sokka regrets his decision not to meet up with Zuko beforehand to discuss the details. Mostly because everyone keeps asking him why they haven’t seen him for six months and his excuse of being busy with work feels lame and half hearted, so Sokka is stuck feeling like an asshole when the entire situation could have been avoided if Zuko had just told his friends about their breakup.

He sighs. At least the venue is pretty. 

Across the aisle from their seats, he spots Zuko’s sister Azula, chatting with some of the other guests. 

Sokka isn’t entirely sure how Azula became friends with Mai and Ty Lee again. He really only knows the story with her and Zuko, but even then Sokka is sure there are pieces of the story he’s missing. She shoots him a quizzical look from across the way and all Sokka can manage to do is wave back.

Zuko groans. “Right, I forgot to mention that we should probably avoid my sister.”

“I thought you guys got along now?” Sokka asks.

“We do,” Zuko says. “But she’ll figure you out instantly. Figure us out. You know what I mean.”

Sokka does know what he means. Azula is literally a detective. 

They don’t have to mingle for too long: Zuko planned their arrival time accordingly. For this, Sokka is extremely grateful. He doesn’t know most of these people and the ones he does know, he’s actively lying to. 

A string of chords on the organ signals for everyone to sit down. Because of Zuko’s close friendships with both Mai and Ty Lee, their seats are pretty close to the front.    
  
Normally, in this situation, it would be a bad thing. But Sokka is secretly thrilled. The hopeless romantic in him, although mostly dead at this point, absolutely loves weddings. The fact that it’s Mai and Ty Lee makes it even better, Sokka thinks, since he’s seen their entire relationship unfold.

Then the procession starts. And a wave of emotions hits Sokka that he doesn’t quite know what to do with.

Sokka should’ve known better than to trust himself with this. Really, he should’ve known better than to agree to anything Zuko asked him to do. 

He’s doing alright until it comes time for Mai and Ty Lee to exchange their vows. 

  
  
They’re beautiful, of course: the vows and Mai and Ty Lee. But they awaken a deep melancholy in Sokka that has tears threatening to spill over.

It’s done so soon after that that he doesn’t have time to process. Instead, Zuko is steering them to the adjacent reception area.

Sokka takes a break from his spiraling to be eternally grateful to Mai and Ty Lee for choosing a venue with an attached reception space. He’s not sure he could handle another awkward car ride with Zuko at the moment.

Just like the wedding venue, the reception area is beautiful, adorned with copious amounts of flowers but just enough edginess that it practically screams Mai and Ty Lee.

“Sokka!” Ty Lee calls him a few minutes after she and Mai have made their entrance. Him and Zuko are sitting at a table only two away from Mai and Ty Lee. Much to Zuko’s chagrin, Azula is seated with them. Strangely, though, she has yet to comment on the clear distance between them. Sokka gets up and walks over to the sweetheart table, giving both Mai and Ty Lee giant hugs. 

“Congratulations!” Ty Lee beams at him and Mai even offers a small smile that’s basically her version of a grin.

“Come get a drink with me!” Ty Lee says. “I haven’t seen you in ages!”

They walk over to the bar and order, chatting about work and the destination of Mai and Ty Lee’s wedding and everything other than him and Zuko’s relationship. He’s certain that Ty Lee is aware of this: she’s always been more perceptive than she let on.

“Why aren’t you dancing?” Ty Lee asks innocently. Sokka shrugs.

“Not quite emotionally prepared for that yet,” he says it with a laugh, but Ty Lee narrows her eyes. She glances from him, over to the table where Zuko is still sitting, and then back to him.

“Oh!’ Ty Lee’s eyes light up more than they already are “I get it!” A conspiratorial smirks graces her features. “Is the wedding making you think about maybe having one of your own?” She wiggles her eyebrows.   
  
Sokka gapes at her. Maybe Ty Lee isn’t quite as perceptive as he thought. Somehow, in the midst of his shock, he has the good sense to nod. This makes Ty Lee practically beam.

There’s a solid five minutes of Ty Lee gushing that Sokka doesn’t process. His brain is in overdrive mode and it feels like he’s spinning. 

“Do you think he’d say yes?” It slips out before Sokka even registers what he’s asking, what it means, what Ty Lee might think. She places her hand on his and gentle squeezes it, a soft, reaffirming look in her eyes.

“Sokka,” there is unbelievable sincerity in her tone “of course he’s going to say yes.” He can’t meet her gaze any more, so he looks away. 

“I’m just…” Sokka’s not entirely sure what he is at this moment. 

“I’ve known Zuko for a long time, almost as long as he’s known Mai, and I’ve never seen him as happy as he is when you guys are together.” That’s the first proverbial straw of the evening, apparently, because the second Ty Lee says it, Sokka’s heartstrings snap like those of a violin that’s been tuned too tightly.

“I-uh, thanks Ty Lee, I’m gonna-yeah,” Sokka thinks he smiled at her but he can’t remember. All he knows is the blur that surrounds him as he all but runs out of the banquet hall into the back gardens. 

* * *

_ “You can’t ‘do us’ anymore? What does that mean?” Sokka’s voice is light with shellshock. Zuko avoids his eyes. _

_ “I can’t be with you,” Zuko says, his words quick and distinctly hollow. Sokka rolls his eyes. _

_ “Okay, sure, care to tell me why?”  _

_ “We just...I think we want different things.” Zuko is still not looking at him. _

_ “Want different things? Like different takeout for dinner?” It’s a lousy, ditch effort to stop this conversation in its tracks, but Sokka has to try. Mostly to give himself time to figure out what could’ve changed so drastically since he left for work this morning. _

_ “You know what I mean, Sokka.” Zuko sounds utterly dejected in a way Sokka hasn’t heard him be in ages. _

_ “No, I don’t know what you mean.” Sokka’s stubbornness leaks and he crosses his arms defensively. _

_ “I can’t—I don’t want to be with you anymore.” Zuko’s tone is more assured this time which only makes Sokka feel worse. _

_ “So what? After four years you just woke up today and decided you ‘didn’t want to be with me’?” There’s no response. “Is this really happening or is this just a moment?” _ _  
  
_

_ “It’s happening. It has to happen.” Sokka shakes his head. _

_ “This doesn’t make any sense.” _

_ The apartment is deadly quiet. Only the leaky sink can be heard, droplets of water plunking into the basin.  _

_ “You can stay here,” Zuko offers. Sokka shakes his head. _

_ “No,” he says firmly. “I’m going to Katara’s. And hopefully, when I wake up tomorrow this will all have been a big misunderstanding.” _ _  
_ _  
_ _ Now it’s Zuko’s turn to shake his head. “It’s not a misunderstanding. It was inevitable, really. I’m not going to change my mind” _

_ Sokka reels back, feelings of disgust and pure, unadulterated anger coursing through his veins.  _

_ “I hope you know what you’re doing,” is all he can say before exiting the apartment, slamming the door behind him in a moment of weakness. _

_ Despite what Zuko had said, Sokka really had thought things would be different in the morning.  _

_ But they weren’t. _

_ So Sokka stayed at Katara’s and promptly fell apart. Toph and Suki went to get his things from the apartment. (According to Toph, they’d both given Zuko a piece of their mind, which Sokka doesn’t doubt). And, other than one drunken phone call he’d prefer to forget, he hadn’t talked to Zuko since that day. _

The fact that this man, the one who said all these things to him that fateful November night, is the same one that Ty Lee seems so certain would accept a proposal is giving Sokka a massive headache. 

There are just some things that can’t be reconciled, no matter how quickly his cranial cogs turn in an attempt to figure it out.

He’s deep in these circular thoughts when he catches footsteps coming towards him. Sokka doesn’t have the heart to look up and see who it is.

“I’m surprised you’re not dancing,” his head snaps up. Not Zuko, but Azula is standing directly in front of him, arms crossed. “Why are you and Zuzu avoiding me? I thought we were past that.”

Sokka doesn’t want to bother with any weak defenses. He especially doesn’t want to lie to Azula, whose both a human lie detector and immensely good at lying herself, a power she’s only recently decided to use for good. Besides, the wedding is technically over. And Mai and Ty Lee are nowhere to be seen. And Sokka is really, really sick of covering for Zuko. So he decides on the truth.

“We  _ are _ past that,” He sighs. “Zuko and I broke up six months ago and are pretending to be together for the wedding for Mai and Ty Lee’s sake. He thought it’d be better to avoid you because you’d figure us out.” 

To Azula’s credit, she doesn’t look shocked. He wonders if she had already deduced it

“And now you’re telling me because…” Sokka can’t quite tell if Azula’s genuinely unsure, or if she just wants to hear him say it.

“Because I’m sick of covering for Zuko. I hate lying! I’m no good at it! I was moving on, you know, before he wrapped me back up in all of this.”

He’s only seen Azula take this long to respond to something a couple of times. Her eyebrow is raised and she’s moved from standing in front of him to sitting beside him.

“Well, why’d you break up with him?” 

“I didn’t!” Sokka can’t help but throw his hands in the air. “Why does everyone always think that?  _ He _ broke up with  _ me _ !” Now Azula looks genuinely shocked. 

“That doesn’t make any sense,” instead of her normal, slightly-snippy tone, Azula’s voice is fraught with confusion. 

“You’re telling  _ me _ ,” Sokka snorts. Azula doesn’t rise to the joke.

  
“No, Sokka, I mean it literally makes no sense.”

“Yeah, I understand, believe me!” Sokka can’t help but feel agitated.

“No, you don’t understand,” she inhales sharply “I went ring shopping with him, Mai and Ty Lee and I all did. I thought he had proposed and you were waiting to tell everyone about it until after the wedding.”

For the second time that day, Sokka feels like the ground is crumbling underneath his feet. “I think I’m gonna be sick,” Azula looks legitimately concerned.

“Don’t throw up on my shoes!” Her tone is clipped, but softens ever so slightly, eyes flitting around the courtyard as if the very gesture makes her nervous. “If you need to leave,” she says “I can cover for you. I’d relish the chance to figure out what the hell is going on with my brother,”

Sokka shakes his head. “No,” he says firmly, “ _ I _ need to figure out what the hell is going on. I owe it to myself, I guess.”

  
Azula gives the closest thing to a look of sympathy he’s ever seen from her, although he can tell she’s internally seething with both curiosity and rage. They got to know each other pretty well over the four-and-a-half years of his and Zuko’s relationship, mostly because Zuko was also getting to know Azula outside of the abusive household they both grew up in. 

It was a long process, not particularly pretty or easy by any means, but Zuko always said that he thought it was worth it. Sokka wonders what he thinks about it now.

He wonders if he ever actually knew Zuko. 

Sokka shakes his head. Clearly, he thinks bitterly, he didn’t know Zuko at all.

When he stands up, about to trudge back into the banquet hall, Sokka sees Zuko, already halfway up the path. Azula notices this too and gives Sokka a slight nod before striding over to her brother.

Although he can’t hear what she says to him, Sokka can tell that neither of them are happy. He’d recognize Zuko’s signature scowl in the dark. 

He bites back a laugh. If you had told Sokka, when he first started dating Zuko, that their relationship would come to a point where they fake-dated at a wedding, only to be found out by Zuko’s formerly-estranged sister who is apparently just as confused as Sokka is about their breakup, he would’ve asked if you were drunk.

But now, as all the cards seem to fall into place for everyone else, Sokka just wants to know why.

“Are you going to tell me what the hell happened?” He can feel Zuko tense next to him.

“What did Azula tell you?” 

“Does it matter?” Sokka crosses his arms. After a couple minutes of awkward, stilted silence, he takes a deep breath. What Sokka wants are answers, and he isn’t going to get any unless he comes right out and asks it. “Did you buy a ring?”

Zuko is quiet.

The birds chirp around them, the sun shining down on the courtyard. It really is the perfect day for a wedding.

“Yes,” he finally says, voice quiet and unsure. “I did.” 

  
Now it’s Sokka’s turn to be speechless. It’s not that he didn’t believe Azula when she said it, but hearing it first hand makes it all that much more confusing.

“Would you—” Sokka can’t help his voice cracking with emotion. “Would you care to tell me what happened, then? What did I do?”

Zuko’s eyes widen “You didn’t do anything!” His voice is sincere, but that doesn’t make Sokka believe it.

“Don’t bullshit me, Zuko.” Sokka wants to cry. 

“It’s true, though,” Zuko is unnaturally confident as he says this.

Sokka takes a deep breath. “Well, can you explain it to me then? Because from where I’m sitting it doesn’t feel that way.”

A moment passes before Zuko nods, his hands slightly shaking on the bench next to Sokka’s. “It was Katara and Aang’s engagement party.” Sokka frowns, but doesn’t interrupt. “I don’t know if I can explain what I felt. It was just...intense. I had already gone with Azula and Mai and Ty Lee to get the ring, because I thought that it was what I wanted.”

“And you...didn’t actually want it?” Sokka asks. They both know what he’s really implying. 

Zuko considers this for a second. “I think,” he finally says “that I did want it, but it was terrifying.”   
  
“That still doesn’t explain why you broke up with me,” Sokka pushes.

Zuko sighs. “I broke up with you because I wanted you to find someone who was sure. Who wouldn’t question all of these things. And I thought that I needed to be alone to figure myself out” Sokka blinks. He fights back his initial impulse, which is to tell Zuko that those are ridiculous reasons and that he would have supported him through it, even though those things are true.

“Did you? Figure yourself out?” Zuko shakes his head.

“No, all I could think about was you. I guess that’s part of the problem.”

If you had asked Sokka a couple of months ago, he wouldn’t have said this was a problem at all. But he understands it, and understands Zuko much better now. Zuko, who spent so much of his life being entirely consumed by other people, deserves the chance to figure himself out. Sokka just wishes it didn’t have to mean pushing him out.

“I wish you would’ve told me,” is what he finally says, meeting Zuko’s eyes and truly seeing him.

“I know,” Zuko replies. “I wish I could’ve told you. I didn’t know how to. I never wanted to lose you, Sokka. I just—” he cuts himself off.

Sokka places a hand on his shoulder. “I get it. Doesn’t mean I’m not mad at you, but I get it.” He takes one last deep breath, before placing his hands on his knees and pushing himself up from the bench.

He holds a hand out to Zuko. “C’mon,” he says, “what kind of fake date would I be if we didn’t dance?”

“Are you sure?” Zuko looks hesitant.

“Absolutely not,” Sokka says, “but I agreed to come here, for Mai and Ty Lee. So we might as well play the part, yeah?”

Zuko accepts his hand. “Yeah,” he breathes “let’s dance.”

It just so happens that, by the time they reenter the reception, a slow ballad is playing. Couples litter the dance floor, Mai and Ty Lee at its center. 

They make their way to the outer corner of the dance floor, Sokka avoiding Azula’s knowing glare from across the room. He’s not sure he could explain to her what was going on if he tried.

The waltz is still natural to them both, and they perform it bittersweetly. For a second, Sokka imagines that nothing has changed, that he’s still back where he was six months ago, dancing with the love of his life.

“I would’ve said yes,” Sokka says quietly, so that only Zuko can hear.

“What?”

“If you’d asked me to marry you, I would’ve said yes.”

There’s no response from Zuko until the end of the song, as they’re both about to leave the dance floor.

And then, suddenly, he looks up at Sokka with determined eyes and says the fateful words. “I don’t want to lose you, Sokka.”

“I don’t want to lose you either,” Sokka admits. “I never did.”

Zuko glances around the room for a moment. A pop song has started blaring from the speakers and they have approximately 45 seconds until Azula ambushes them with questions, but it’s long enough. “Maybe we can try again, once I figure myself out? Or be friends, at least.” It’s quiet and nervous and Sokka knows he should say no.

“Yeah,” his heart speaks for him “I’d like that.”

They dance much more lightheartedly for the rest of the night. It’s not fixed or perfect or anything close, but it’s something.

Maybe it would be easier if Sokka hated Zuko, he thinks. But Sokka doesn’t care if it’s hard. 

Looking at Zuko, illuminated by the lights and reflection of the discoball, he knows it’ll all be worth it someday.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I'M SORRY THIS IS SO SAD i've already been yelled at for it by alex
> 
> the rest of my zukka week stuff is happier i promise!!! this idea just got stuck in my head and the song if i hated you by fletcher is my lifeblood.
> 
> anyways!! hope you've all had a great day
> 
> -vallie<3


End file.
